Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even this computer. Sad isn't it? A/N: Written for the Neil Gaiman Title Challenge
Thank you to Xim for helping me with that. Thank you to Amy for looking this over. And thank you to all my bunnies and LJ friends who are always encouraging. Hopefully we'll get some smut out of me sometime soon...

Spoilers up to Duplicity

The thing with lying so much, Clark realizes, is that sometimes the lies sounded awfully like the truth. The space between the half-truths he tells others and somewhat lies he tells himself seemed to be decreasing every day, until everything was tainted with the shadow of his secrets.

Telling Pete was supposed to be a relief from that. And it was. It felt good to be able to be himself around his childhood friend, to not have to hide his secrets. But there were prices to pay. And no matter how good a friend Pete was, there was a part of him that would never forgive Clark all those lies. That would never ever entirely trust him again. That was part of the package.

And he wouldn't blame Pete that. Because the truth was, there were still secrets that he kept from Pete. Things that Pete would have a hell of a lot more trouble handling that the fact that his best friend was in fact, from another planet.

Such as the fact that it was never Pete who he wanted to reveal the secrets too. That would hurt Pete. And one thing Clark has learned lately is that it's okay to keep secrets to when it keeps others from being hurt.

Like Chloe. He knows that she thinks he chose Lana over her. And it's easier to let her believe that than explain the truth of the matter. He left her at that dance to go find Lana, but that had nothing to do with it being Lana Lang as much as Clark would have never left any friend in danger. After all, he'd ditched Lana once when Chloe was in danger. Chloe deserves better than him, because as much as Clark cares about Chloe, there are many things in his life that she'll come second too. Like his secrets.

Like the fact that he knows this is his duty. And it might sound pompous. But if there is a God who looks after aliens, Clark can't help but thinking that's why he was given these gifts. To save those he can.

Like Lex.

Every time that Clark wishes for normalcy or hates his gifts, he remembers Lex's face, pale and slightly tinged blue from the cold of the water and lack of oxygen. Lex who would have surely died had Clark been human. Lex's life is worth any amount of abnormality.

Lana takes the fact that he won't reveal his secrets personally. She's right, he supposes. Secrets have a way of coming between people. Just like lies do. And as long as he lies, he'll never have a chance with her. And maybe the fact that it isn't Lana either that he wants to tell his secrets to might have been a clue. Because as much as Lana has been his dream girl, she is also part of the lie that he tells himself.

Loving Lana has always been easy. Lana is the type of girl who inspires love. He suspects that there's probably been a point where every teenager at Smallville High has either wanted to be her or be with her. Wanting to be with Lana was his last chance at normalcy.

Being normal means no Lex.

There's no dictionary where their definition of friendship would pass for normal. Twenty-one year old multi-millionaire businessman befriends lonely geeky farm boy. Even Disney would have a hard time spinning that.

And maybe it is because it's so out of the ordinary that it seems to fit so well in his life. Lex needs Clark almost as much as Clark needs Lex. Lex likes to chalk their relationship up to destiny and fate. As much as Lex talks about being in control of his own future, Lex likes to believe that certain things are pre-ordained. Like meeting Clark at sixty miles an hour.

If Lex can believe in Clark, then Lex can believe in himself. He can believe that he's a better man than his father, and that forging his destiny doesn't mean trampling on those in his way. Clark has no doubt that if Lex put his mind to it, he could create an empire that would overshadow any of Lionel's accomplishments.

Lex is like electricity running wild. He is alive with ideas and dreams and he can do it all. But he can also easily turn against others. Against himself. Clark isn't blind to Lex's faults. He knows that there are things in Lex's past that he must be careful off. He knows that there are secrets Lex keeps from him. But Lex needs Clark to believe in him. Lex needs to believe in Clark to keep the darkness at bay.

Which is why he cannot tell Lex his secrets yet. Even though he is the one person in the world Clark wants to confess to.

At some point he will have to tell Lex. He suspects Lex has already guessed most of it. The bad lies that work with everyone else never really work with Lex. But Lex wants to believe Clark's lies, and wants to be better than a man who would go digging into Clark's life. Lex is waiting for Clark to feel like he can trust Lex enough to tell him.

Clark trusts Lex. Unfortunately, Lex doesn't trust himself yet. Lex still doubts what he would do if he had the secrets. Nixon was just the first temptation. And it's never been money that corrupted Lex as much as power. Lex doesn't trust himself with the power of Clark's secrets and until he does, Clark cannot be honest with him.

"Clark? I'm so glad you stopped by."

Lying to Lex hurts in a way that lying to no one else does. Because Lana is right. As long as he has these secrets, there will always be a wall between him and Lex. No matter how much he wants it, he can't be with Lex until they are ready to confess their secrets to each other. And he wants it desperately. Lex is the only one that keeps abnormal from being so lonely.

"Can you stick around a while, or do you have to be somewhere?"

Lying to Lex sucks. Which is why when he gets an opportunity to tell the truth, Clark treasures it. Treasures it more than shiny trucks with bows on top, or concert tickets, or the girl of his dreams. Clark can't give Lex the whole truth yet, but at least for now he can give him an honest answer.

"Nope. I'm all yours."

<fin>